"If you want to walk on water you've got to step on faith."

I know over the last few months I've drifted the focus of this blog and used it as my own personal diary of my feelings and experiences. I promise to bring some sort of balance again soon and have more fashion and beauty but for now I really have to spill my current thoughts.

For the last two days I've had the dirtiesttt headaches, my initial thought was that the recent wave of warm weather was making me dehydrated. However these headaches were so painful that no amount of water or painkillers could give me slight relief. That's when my gut feeling hit me and suggested that these headaches are being induced by stress. Just the thought of a couple situations that I'm having to face right now give me a wave anxiety and even nausea.

Have you ever been in certain situations where you are have no idea how you will hustle your way out of them. Your resources are dried up, could be no money, no time, no connections etc. and just waiting for a miracle to come and save you. That is me. No joke for the last few days every time I've walked outside I'm paying extra attention to the floor just in case I magically find an envelope with a fat stash of cash to help me out. 

Without going into too much detail I have a driving test soon, I'm having issues with my lessons, it's also draining my funds. I have a holiday to book within a specific timeframe, this is clashing with my driving. I am starting a natural organic skincare company and I need capital, this project of mine now has to be put on hold until the the other things listed are paid for. Recently I'm constantly being tested on learning how to overcome my anxiety and confidence issues when dealing with guys and other social settings. My metabolism is getting out of control and I don't know how to deal with it. I have a stupid sugar addiction which I also don't know how to deal with. I need to find a new job but I'm struggling to make the time. If I cut my hours at work then I don't have the money I need to fund my other goals listed above.

I feel a tremendous amount of frustration. It's like all these little issues are interlinked somehow someway and there's a conflict of interests that make the answer/the next step/direction I need to take unclear. So if you're experiencing anything similar to what I've listed above I'm here to tell you to let go. Sometimes we believe we have more control over certain things than what we actually do have. If you are religious and believe in God, this is a good time to lean on him and have faith. Letting go and letting your life take the course its meant to take is the best thing you can do sometimes. Otherwise you will actually come and kill yourself with stress over things that in the grand scheme of life simply don't matter.

The answers are there. The resources are there. We get frustrated, scared and anxious because we can't always see them. You actually need to have faith and know that everything will work out how it's meant to and when it's meant to and certain things will only be clear at a certain time. But you hold onto that faith, no matter how little it is to keep you going, and keep you free.

Mentally, spiritually and physically. 

Don't be scared to face your demons and don't be afraid to ask and pray for help. On my way back home last night from work I noticed an old lady sat across from me praying the rosary, I took it as an opportunity to pray with her in my head and address the things that are currently making my head hurt. I remember saying speaking into existence that I was letting go and giving leaving this situation(s) in God's hands and before I even went to sleep that same night the solution had already been revealed to me. 

Take what you want/what you can from this brain vomit of mine. I hope these words help whoever is in need need of them. If you have anything else to add, feel free to drop a comment below. 

Outfit details: 
Coat - H&M   ||   Two piece - DIY originally from Asos    ||   Shoes - Fenty Puma Creeper

Did you like my 3rd otufit that I made of an old ASOS midi skirt? Check out my other outfits here and here!